Israel: A horror story

Here's what we have achieved over the last eight months.

This is the sequel to Israel: A children’s story I wrote in October last year. Read the prequel first for the full experience.

To be perfectly honest with you even we are surprised at how much we have been able to accomplish over the last eight months with barely any pushback from the so-called “global community.” When we began our genocide of the terrorists, whose ancestors we drove out from our current dwellings and farms over the period of a century and more beginning in the late 1800s, we didn’t quite know how much we could get away with, but these eight months have taught us that we are pretty much untouchable, invincible.

International laws don’t apply to us. We trample over “rules-based order” like we have run bulldozers over Palestinians dead and alive. We wipe our derriere with the rulings of the International Court of Justice, and the arrest warrants for our leaders issued by the International Criminal Court make for good toilet paper at our kosher establishments in Tel Aviv. We kill United Nations’ workers in the terrorist ghettos of our enemies with impunity and then shred the UN charter at its headquarters. Achilles had a vulnerable heel. We have no vulnerabilities. None. We are invincible.

We have accomplished so much since we began this extermination campaign eight months ago that I am not even sure where to begin. Back in October, when we first bombed a hospital in the terrorist ghetto, we genuinely freaked out. We weren’t sure how the “global community” would react. We tried all sorts of ways to shift blame for that act. We said that the terrorists blew up the hospital themselves. And to back up this claim, we even released a fake audio recording of two men talking in Arabic conspiring to fire rockets in the vicinity of the hospital. I bet you don’t even remember that such a thing happened because we have done so much more since then. Anyway, our mocking birds in our former neighbourhoods, which we left behind all those years ago for these lands we stole because our God promised it, remain so totally enthralled by our mythmaking (to say nothing of the tight control we exert over their functioning) that they ran our frivolous story as the gospel truth. We got away with it. And learned an important lesson as a consequence: blowing up hospitals in the enemy territory was kosher. There won’t be any pushback.

Since then we have put out almost every single one of the 36 hospitals in the enemy territory out of service. Putting out of service is putting it mildly, in fact. Over a period of around two weeks, we completely took over the biggest hospital in the enemy territory and destroyed it block by block. We rendered it totally useless by the time we left. We killed patients. We killed doctors. We killed children. We killed their parents. We killed those taking shelters because we had blown up their homes and they had nowhere else to go other than to seek shelter in a hospital they presumed safe. Fools. They learned their lesson the hard way. Hope those lessons come handy in the afterlife they so ardently believe in. We literally turned the hospital into a series of mass graves where we buried corpses with catheters, splints, and cannulas still attached to them. We buried doctors and nurses in their scrubs. They kept discovering new mass graves long after we left.

But we didn’t stop there. Our next stop was the next biggest hospital in the terrorist enclave. It was the same story as the biggest hospital. We killed, decapitated, skinned, and buried children, parents, doctors, injured, amputated, healthy — they are all the same to us: terrorists. Every single one of those we killed was a terrorist. Zero exception. Our mass graves in the second-biggest hospital were probably bigger than the one in the biggest hospital. We don’t keep a count of such things. If you want a count, go ask the living terrorists how many dead terrorists they exhumed from those mass graves. They will tell you. They keep a score of everything. They even give fancy names to our operations. Flour massacre. Tent massacre. This massacre. That massacre. Give them whatever names you want, terrorists. We couldn’t care less. They have even kept the keys of their homes we kicked them out of, just like their ancestors from decades ago. It’s crazy. They are crazy. We are geniuses. And invincible.

Talking of geniuses, we grow them young. Did you see the beautifully choreographed video of our kids singing about exterminating the terrorists? Oh, it’s a beauty. It should be our entry for an Academy Award. And since we own Hollywood, bringing home the Best Song Oscar shouldn’t be a big deal. But more than an award, I admire the sheer bile that our kids possess for the terrorists. I can only imagine the ferocity with which they will kill the terrorists when they go on to join our righteous army, the most moral in the world. They will outdo the current generation, surely? But will they disseminate snuff videos as gruesome as the ones this generation of our brave fighters did? Yes, we have an impeccable taste in homemade films. And even more importantly, will they make as cool TikToks as this generation has been doing? I mean it will be pretty hard to beat our soldiers prancing around in the bikinis of female terrorists. We are chivalrous to the core. If you need further evidence of our chivalry, go look up videos of our soldiers dedicating terrorist buildings to their wives and girlfriends before blowing them up. They have even stolen beautiful stuff belonging to the terrorists as gifts for their wives and girlfriends. They have dedicated blowing up of buildings to their kids for their birthdays. Such acts really warm our chosen hearts. It is hard to beat the love we have for our families. No one loves their families more than we do ours.

Speaking of love, we also love our religion. We love our faith so much that we have blown up the places of worship of our enemies to smithereens and graffitied our long-cherished temple on their places of worship. We have torn pages of their holy book and thrown it on the floor. We have even carried our religious scrolls to their places of worship. There’s only one true religion, and that’s not yours. Funnily, none of our allies — our former neighbours — have so much as even spoken of this as a religious war. Imagine if our enemies did anything even remotely similar! They would be eaten up alive by our mocking birds in the mass media with talking points spoon-fed by us.

Meanwhile, we have been crying and screaming about imagined hate crimes against us. Our deeply-entrenched organisations in our former neighbourhoods have amplified our voices to such a degree that we are the ones being treated as the persecuted. Which we are. But still. The chief leader of our biggest benefactor even lambasted our enemies for their imagined historic animosity against us. You couldn’t make this up. (Because we are the one who make things up, but still.) It was hilarious. We laughed hysterically.

I will tell you what was even more hilarious. Our leader told the leader of our chief supporter to build a pier to provide aid to our enemies — I know the whole premise is laughable when we are literally starving them!, but bear with me — and guess what, their senile leader went ahead and did it! That precious pier, which cost them a few hundred million dollars of their money (hence, not our problem) — was recently seen floating on our beaches. It’s funny.

Even more hysterical was when we beat their children in their college campuses and they blamed their own children, despite the evidence of bloodied faces and broken bones — all of which were caught on camera. Our leader demanded their leaders rein their kids in, and sure enough, rein in their kids they did. Some highfalutin leader of theirs went to one of the campuses, lambasted their very own children, who were agitating for human rights — when will they learn that only our rights matter? He even repeated — lo and behold — our lies about mass rapes and beheaded babies a whole seven months later! Hilarity upon hilarity upon oodles of hilarity.

However, the funniest thing in all of this is that our leader is on record saying that he gets our biggest funders and supporters to do our bidding, but they don’t talk about it like it is nothing. The world’s sole superpower? That’s us. Not them. People we fund go to their Congress and do our bidding. If that is not owning, we don’t know what owning is. But then, after years of dominating mainstream (and subversive) culture we decide what is sacred and what is profane, who is a terrorist and who is a freedom fighter, what is truth and what is falsehood. Years of indoctrination has meant that they can no longer trust the evidence of their very own eyes and the capacity of their own intellect, if they have any left still — that’s how badly we have muddied the waters. Which is why apartheid is democracy, genocide is self defence, and killing babies is legal.

If you are still not convinced of our invincibility, we have some bridges to sell you — yes, all stolen from the terrorists we forced out all those years ago from the lands we now occupy, and which we call our promised and chosen home.

But we are not done yet. We are still testing the limits of our impunity. There probably aren’t any. But there’s no harm in trying. What will it cost? 40,000 more dead terrorists? More mass graves? More destroyed hospitals? More floating piers funded by your hard-earned money? More incinerated baby terrorists in ramshackle tents? You still think any of these things matter to us?! We are governed by another set of rules. We are the chosen ones. You are not.

Stay tuned.

You just read the sequel to Israel: A children’s story I wrote in October last year. Please subscribe for future chapters of this story.

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